I am not been negative when I write today; psychologically if one speaks or writes his bad feelings they actually go out of the head. It’s a good exercise to write down when you are sad but its not good to go back and read them again and again.
There has been a great phrase saying “distance makes the heart go fonder”. I truly doubt the guy who wrote this coz I think this is truly not possible today. Rather “distance makes the heart go doubtful and jittery”. I have been away from him for more than 3 weeks now. This time I know I am in love (and so is he) but why this feeling of apprehension. I know I am moody and sometimes I feel sad which makes me recall all my bad experiences and think if the situation today will again end the same way as it did last time. I am being skeptical and apprehensive but that’s human. Life is full of experiences which I never thought and wanted and now when I am getting what I want it seems unbelievable.
I wouldn't have mind if life was a bit easier. Life is full of challenges as everyone says but here the life itself is a challenge.
Today when I am writing this here, my motive is entirely to take out this feeling of disbelief, doubtful and stressed out of my mind so I can start my day fresh. Things which are not possible with man are possible with god and from here I decide that I will start with the same motivation which has kept me alive till now. I guess the problem is “expectations”. Every time I think or look back the times I was in pain it was related to one or the other expectation I had which was failed.
